3.8 The Story

God i wish William didn't have to work so long every day. I couldn't wait to tell him the happy news. First we had tried for several months. Then we had went to a doctor whom informed us that we had a 10% chance to conceive due to an error in my ovaries. Then we had fertility treatment and waited and waited with no result. And now, after five months of fertility treatment every two weeks, it had finally happened. I was pregnant with our first child. I feared that it would be our only child ever, but i was happy to just have one. If it was meant to be, more would follow.
I sat in the park next to our house, talking to myself. Sometimes, without thinking about it, my thoughts would end up with me talking to myself.

People would walk by, looking at me funny while muttering rudeness under their breath. They thought i couldn't hear, but i heard everything. Every little snide comment, every insult, every mockery.
William said i should just let it slide. He said not to worry about it so i tried not to.

When he finally came home that night, i could tell he needed a cheer-up. "Come sit here for a moment hon." I said taking his hand and steering him into the living room to sit in the couch next to me.
"What is it sweatheart?" He said, looking very tired after a hard day at work. It was super busy in the kitchen around the time he was at work. Tonight there had been 1000 guests in five hours.
"I have some news i'm sure you are going to like," I started out, but he cut me to it.
"Unless it is that you are pregnant, i'm not up for much right now honey." He looked at me tired, but when he saw the look on my face he soon expressed excitement. "You're not...? You are? You're pregnant?!"
I nodded quietly with a wide smile on my face.
"That's amazing! I can't believe it!" We hugged and we kissed like there were no tomorrow.

The following months were very happy times for us. We didn't want to know the sex of the baby as we liked to be surprised. It was our first baby, and maybe only ever, so we wanted to experience every little surprise that might come our way.

Along with my pregnancy, some changes had been happening. Skylar had gone all hipster now, wearing long shirts and waist high shorts, along with a beanie and converse shoes. It was strange to see her new style, though she insisted this is the real her. I was happy that she finally found something she could feel comfortable with.

I was getting bigger and bigger by the week. Now i had to waddle around. Otherwise i couldn't walk anywhere.

My pregnancy wasn't without difficulties. I had to go to the bathroom every two hours and i had no strength to take care of my garden, so William insisted to help me with that. He knew how important my plants were to me and he didn't want to see me sad by not taking care of them. They were like my babies after all.

The doctor had said that because we had had such a difficult time getting pregnant, and i was at risk of losing the baby, i should take it very easy. So i called my boss at work about going on early maternity leave and it was approved.

Now that i had more time relaxing and caring for my unborn baby, i spend the time painting. I painted a variety of things, all of which i send to the art gallery to get appraised and sold off to buyers. I was getting pretty good as well, if i should say it myself.
I preferred to paint plants, mostly trees.

It gave me a sense of purpose in life to paint, garden and fishing. I still made my little trips down to Oasis Springs park to fish. I had also found fishing spots closer to home, but i preferred it in the other town. There were just something about that place that gave me peace. Maybe it was the quiet stream of water or the fact that there rarely were many people around. In willow Creak it was packed with people everywhere. I hated it there. You couldn't go two meters without walking into someone new. I liked meeting new people, but there were just so many of them.
What i liked about meeting new people were that they weren't thinking nasty things about me like the ones in my neighborhood. If it wasn't bad enough to have a mental illness, it were even worse having people talk about you behind your back. William's friends didn't like me either. They had stopped coming around since they caught me talking to myself in the kitchen while making dinner. They always said they were too busy to come around our house, but i knew what they were thinking. That i was a crazy bitch. I was sure of  it. How could they not? Everyone else thought that about me.

"Honey are you okay?" William had caught me far off in my own imagination and thoughts.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm just a little sad. I was thinking about the world around me and how it moves too fast. I'm already 39 and i'm first having my first baby now! I feel like it will be my only time giving birth and that makes me feel sad." I hung my head low.
"Aww honey don't feel bad. Maybe we can still have another child after this one. It wouldn't hurt to try. And i mean a lot!" He winked at me which made me smile.
"I guess you're right." I said a little happier.
"I finished in the garden by the way. Do you want a quickie before i go to work?"
We hurried, as fast as i could, up the stairs and into our bedroom.

"Honey it's okay, really."
William were getting dressed while i lay in bed with most of my clothes on.
"Don't say that Kylie. It is NOT okay. I can't believe this happened to me. It is so embarrassing." He covered  his head in his hands. I moved over to hold him from behind but he pushed me away.
"Don't touch me Kylie. I'm not up for it."
I moved away fast with a hurt expression on my face.
"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have reacted like that. It's just... this has never happened to me before. I feel bad, like i'm not a real man." A tear prickled in his eye corner.
"Of course you are a real man. You are my man, no matter what happens. I love you." I stretched my arms out for him to hold me, and i was glad when he accepted.
"Thank you sweety, for being so understanding." He squeezed me tight and then let go.
"I'd better head to work before my boss thinks i bailed on  him." He sent me a little smile before going down the stairs. As i heard the front door close i felt tears in my eyes. Why was i crying? I had nothing to cry about! And yet i couldn't hold back the tears.
Why did this happen? Didn't he find me attractive anymore? Was it something I did? Was it because i'm pregnant?
My thoughts spun out of control and soon i was crying my eyes out over nothing in particular.
I first stopped when Skylar came home from work. She heard me and hurried upstairs to my bedroom.
"Shhh.. There there. Kylie, what's wrong? What happened?" She looked worried because i cried so hard.
"He. Just. Went. Soft," I sobbed onto her shoulder as she held me in her arms.
"Oh don't worry about that honey. It has happened to me too."
That made me stop crying. Did she have a boyfriend?
"I had no idea you had a boyfriend," I said surprised.
She wiped away my tears with a finger.
"I don't sweety. Not anymore." She smiled a little sadly at me.
"What happened?" I asked intrigued.
She sighed heavily.
"If i tell you it will be just between you and me, right?" She looked at me hard.
"Yes of course!" I said quickly, very curious at the story that lay ahead.
"Okay. It started a year ago. We met down at the park here in Newcrest. He was really sweet and kind at first. We went on a couple dates. He would bring me roses and i would pay for drinks at the bar. Sometimes when you and William were out on a date i would invite him over for dinner. After two weeks of dating we had sex. It was my first time ever, but it sure wasn't his. Afterwards i found out i had chlamydia. I got treatment for it, but it scared me and i thought i would never have sex again. I was very insecure about myself at that time, you see. I didn't think of myself as sexy or hot or anything attractive to other people, so his interest in me surprised me at first.
After a while i found out that i was not the only girl he was dating."
She looked down, saddened by her memories. I gently touched her arm and she continued.
"I confronted him about it and at first he denied it. I believed him for a while, though i had my suspicions. And they were confirmed when i saw him with another girl down at the bar one night. I followed him up to the bedrooms that is on the second floor. They were getting heated inside one of them and i burst in to confront him once more. He were very surprised to see me, to say the least. He quickly got dressed and followed me down the stairs and out the back. I screamed at him, accusing him of various things, until something happened that changed everything."
A tear started to show in her eye corner, but she wiped it away with her hand.
"What happened?" I asked. I felt so sorry for her. It seemed she had been through a lot, but i would soon learn i didn't even know half of it.
"He hit me. Right across my face. It definitely shut me up. He raised his arm to hit me again but i raised mine to cover my face. From then on, whenever i opened my mouth about something i was unsatisfied with, he would hit me. He was careful to never leave marks so no one knew what was really going on.
I finally ended things when he went to jail. His other girlfriend turned him in for abuse and he was imprisoned for an unknown period of time. I visited him in jail and told him it was all over. I even testified to the judge that he had indeed beaten me too.
I was so deep down and had no self-esteem any longer. I ended up taking an online course to gain self-esteem and it worked. I found out what i liked and what i disliked. I learned things about myself i didn't know and i took on this new style as hipster as it reflects who i am on the inside."
"I'm so sorry to hear all this. It is horrifying! Why didn't you come to me for help?" I couldn't believe she had gone all this long without telling me.
"I thought you would blame it on me like he did. I had lost faith in all other humans. I hid behind my computer screen so no one would see me. I only went outside to go to work or when it was absolutely necessary."
"But you are happy now, right?"
"I am. Very much in fact. I learned that i didn't need a man. I had everything i wanted right here. Maybe some day i will meet "the one", but i'm in no hurry." She squeezed me tight and said: "I'm gonna head downstairs and have a drink. Care to join me?" She said playfully.
"Well i can't drink," I touched my swollen belly, "but sure i can join you."
We walked down the stairs and into the living room. For the rest of the day and night, until William came back from work, we chatted like we hadn't done for a long time, about everything good and bad, catching up on the latest gossip and basically just having a sisters-time together.